Thursday, April 24, 2014

Library Policy

Yesterday I saw an article posted on Facebook regarding the recent purging of books done by a University Library.  The comments under the posting were uninformed, inflammatory remarks designed (I believe) to make the person writing them seem like a "better person" because they so obviously love books and are repulsed by the idea of them being destroyed.

I clicked the link and watched the video it led me to, then went back and read over the comments again.  I was immediately struck by the fact that if anyone who wrote those comments... including the friend of mine who posted the link in the first place... that a conversation could be started-and someone could learn something.

I wrote the following as a response to the video as well as the stupid comments listed beneath it, but that was after I watched the video...  which is available HERE

I used to work at a library, and the criteria for what goes on the shelves and what stays on the shelves is actually very logical.  Unfortunately any time a library has to purge books they run the risk of people making a mountain out of a mole hill.  The headline for this alone is inflammatory.  The books are in a dumpster.  This gives the impression that they'll just be thrown away when in fact they're recycling them.  Many of the books are out-dated and have information that is no longer relevant-or simply wrong.  Then there are the books that are so worn and in such bad shape that repairing them costs more than replacing them...  but people don't like to see any book get "thrown away."  If libraries never did this they would be full of ancient musty books that had no useful information.  There would be no room for the fifteen copies of Divergent they have to keep on hand until the hub-bub dies down and all fifteen aren't out on loan with a waiting list a hundred people deep.  There would be no room for the latest information and the updated reference section...  everything in the library would be wrong, old, incorrect...  useless.

There are always "better" ways for libraries to dispose of their outdated and damaged material but they often don't choose those ways due to lack of funds or lack of time.  Also, a lot of libraries have tried to re-home the books via book sales or simply giving the books away...  but then nobody wants the books, unless they're getting thrown away.

I don't know why so many people believe that libraries have infinite storage space and keep every single book that ever passes through their doors.  It's sad that books have to go, but sometimes they do.  Instead of news stories about how sad it is and how distraught people are why doesn't someone take the time to do a piece about what the new material is?  How the library had to get rid of some things... to make room for all these awesome books that are more relevant to the times we live in, that have updated information, that will be used... 

The same friend who posted the video has posted things in the past that made me scratch my head and wonder what planet she and her friends live on.  In the past I've commented, informing them that their information is incorrect, or their emotional response is irrational when you stop and think about it...  but I always get shot down and belittled.  I suppose that's the danger of trying to tell a bunch of people who are a generation older than you that their wrong.  They gang up on you and pat you on the head, placate you and talk over your head about how ignorant and naive you are.

I know how those folks who understood that the world was a sphere felt back when most folks thought the planet was a pancake. 

So those are my thoughts on libraries purging their shelves, it's necessary and if you want to view it as evil then please be my guest.  But next time you toss out a book, remember.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How we are...

It occurred took me that the entirety of my relationship with my mother-in-law can be summed up in a little interaction we had earlier today.

I took a moment to inform her of my burgeoning anxiety issues. Just as I was letting her know that the possibly frequent retreats to the bedroom are not intended as a slight and I don't wish for them to be taken as such....

She completely interrupted me, talked so loudly that to be heard over her I had to shout... and proceeded to attempt to inform me of ask her own anxiety issues.

This is inappropriate.
This is the next four days.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Privacy and Fear

Must attempt this whole Mobile blogging thing considering the certain and disturbing lack of privacy in my future.  Knowing that no matter what I do will be wrong is troubling, to say the least, but at least I can easily hide what it is by tapping the little house on the bottom left corner.

Now I need to password protect the Kindle so that no overly curious minds gain access to my various accounts and private notes while we're gone.  It's sad that I feel the need to do that.  Also says a lot about how I feel about those whose company in which I shall be required to spend my time.

I keep hearing, "Think about all the fun we're going to have!"  Yet experience tells me that the fun will be short lived and widely spaced.  When the bulk of my memories of past trips are negative and nausea inducing it is rather difficult to look toward this impending trip with anything but dread.  When you take into consideration the various psychological issues that appear to be setting up residence within my skull it makes you wonder what these people who profess to love me are thinking by making me do this most distasteful thing.

I understand why my son and husband want me to go, but my visceral reaction to the whole thing should be enough of a clue that this trip is detrimental to my psychological well being and in this case, perhaps the desires of the many should take a back seat to the needs of the few.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Interruptions cause System Failure

Don't interrupt me.
Not when I'm writing, not I'm reading and not when I'm thinking.
When you burst in on me my mind stops.
It doesn't pause.
It stops.
Total system reboot required.

So don't walk into the room and start talking to me-politely get my attention.
If I'm ignoring you, don't be offended, just understand that there are probably about five or six different things going on inside my mind and stopping to say "Hi." and chat about the weather, the cats and the state of the union can make me forget all five or six of them.
Forget them.

I'm sorry if you don't understand why I require a soft, "Excuse me." When you wish my attention.  Pretend I'm a stickler for proper manners and get over it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Anxiety Settles in Limbo

I find myself in an odd state lately.
Constant (what seems to be) anxiety and an even deeper desire to stay within my home than I've ever felt before.  That says a lot, considering how much of a hermit I am by nature.
It could be the state of limbo I find myself in, this wondering of where I'll be living three months from now... knowing that it probably won't be here... dealing with that on an emotional level.

I can clearly see all the reasons we should not buy this house.
Buying this house is completely illogical, but faced with that or moving back into an apartment (which would be cramped and more expensive) it has seemed our only option for the last few months.  I've been content in the knowledge that we would, in all likelihood, buy the house despite the fact that it's not the best investment we could make.  Shit.  Buying a brand new car would be about equal as far as any sort of future financial gain is concerned.

My overwhelming emotional desire to hold on to this house resides firmly in the simple fact that moving will most likely force us to put our son in a different school.  Perhaps a different district entirely.  I have this intense (and somewhat illogical) desire to keep him in the same district K-12.  To move him between first and second grade wouldn't be that big of a deal... not overall... I know this-I attended four different elementary schools and then moved to a new district again when I started high school.  But I long for friends I've known since we were five years old and swinging on the monkey bars... and I want that for my son.

Another thing contributing to the surge in anxiety, to the increasing severity of the panic attacks and the general feeling of "OHMYGODNOPLEASENO" in my mind is this impending "vacation" that we're going on next week.

Bare Bones: Being away from my home for five days and four nights is enough to give me a stroke.  I don't like the idea.  I don't want to do it.

All other circumstances regarding this little family trip are completely meaningless at this point.  I simply do not want to leave my house for any length of time, let alone five fucking days.

I'm pretty much patted on the head and told that things will be all right and I should "think of all the fun I'm going to have."  Because the gods know I see acres of fun ahead of me.  Acres.

Mentally I'm stuck as well.  The simple fact that the plans I've had rocketing around in my head for the last three years started speeding up when it became likely that we'd end up buying the house... and now they're dead stopped.  Stuck.  I can't even think about and plan for a move because I have no idea if that's even going to happen... or when... or what the fuck.

My brain is already working on what I'm going to do two days after I get home from "vacation."  That's where I am mentally right now: Two weeks from Today.  So what comes next?  Will we have the answers I assume and hope like hell we're going to have when we get back?  If we do have those answers I should be able to move forward but it doesn't really help my mental state over the next week... or during our time away.  Which is already going to be stressful, nerve wracking and OMG I'd rather shoot myself in the foot.